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I am so glad you posted this can not wait for more shows!
I was best friends with a man I considered my best friend for the better part of 10 years. We got along well from day one. Same home town…actually met the first time at a mutual friends house when I was a kid but he was a bit older.
In our later years, we met again by chance and I noticed he would pull away from me at various times during our friendship. Later I realized it was because he was with anotger woman who was his supply for sex, manipulation and verbal abuse. For whatever reason, I was spared from all of that.
We talked, shared dreams, worked on projects. I accused him of stealing my ideas but couldn't prove it so cautiously, I let it go. We argued, got pissed off at one another but never was he disrespectful to me by calling me names or saying disparaging remarks about my appearance. I think he actually respected me as much as he could.
I'm not saying he was good to me because there were times when I really needed help with something and he ignored me pleas. I just realized if there was nothing in it for him…he wasn't…still isnt trying to help me. Henwas non co frontational with me. He convinced one girl in his supply that their constant arguing, him fighting with her, calling her names and leaving and returning was “passion”. She believes him.
He may have done a bunch of bs talk about me with his supply or anyone else who would listen …but never to my face. I think he spared me from being a part of his supply for a few reasons. However it seems in your case Dr. J. that this woman was a clear case of crazy... I am so glad you are safe and yes we have to do background checks on people. I value your wisdom and I just love your shows!
They aren’t your friends then, they are just acting to be. That’s something crystal clear even from way here.
In fact, they are poisonous people in your life that you need to remove. Else you’re heading into deep trouble. It will not only affect your personal attributes like self-esteem and confidence but also…no, how could I forget, they tried to kill you, what if they succeeded? I’d hate to think the end result of that.
You're not wrong at all for wanting out of the friendship! It's best for your well-being to not have those types of personalities around yourself. It would be wrong to treat that person poorly however. If they ask why you are no longer talking to them, I would very openly and honestly say “No offense, Ive just noticed that you're dishonest, and don't like to be around people like that”. This person will most likely ask for examples, or lie again to try to reclaim their honor, but you simply tell them that it's not open for discussion. Be firm, and stand your ground on moving on from that discussion, put it behind you. The people who do this are often immature, and don't like dealing with stressful situations. There's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from that person for the reasons you have stated. It is actually quite healthy!
I know how you feel. You have empathy and the thought of losing a friend, even a bad friend is upsetting to you. It’s hard to be with friends who betray you but it is they and not you causing the problems. It’s up to her to find help for a very undesirable trait that’s going to keep her from making friends in the future.
You didn’t cause her problem and it isn’t up to you to try and solve it for her. It’s all right to feel bad. It’s a normal sign that you care for other people. Unfortunately, she does not. Get over it with the knowledge that you did the right thing. It’s certain she won’t change if you continue on the same course. Good luck.
I met a compulsive liar online and friended her however after getting to know her I found she was fooling with us and I simply started giving her false information so she wouldn’t use it on an opposite team when fighting with us her other character. It worked and she stopped logging in our group. I doubt she stopped lying though… I say if you don’t like dealing with this people and you are not close enough to confront them walk out of it.
I understand why you feel this way.
Friendships are relationships. The first basic thing you need in any relationship is Trust.
You just can't trust liars.
If your friend is like any of the compulsive liars I know then the lies can range from annoying to down right dangerous.
You're not wrong, it's frustrating to see someone work everyone’s trust like that.
Be honest with her. Tell her why you can’t be friends, because before helping everyone else, you've gotta help yourself. If she needs friends, she'll improve herself, because lying hurts everyone.
Send her ass to jail ASAP! I would get her on Slander Charges for your friend
I don’t know any one who wants to keep company with someone who lies to them.
So don’t feel bad about wishing distance. I can’t handle it either. As much as I wish to help that person, I am so sad that half of what they have said to me was probably untrue.
But I’m old, I love people even if they lie. I get more worried why someone felt something bad might happen if they didn’t lie to me.
If she’s a friend worth keeping, you will keep her. If the situation is hard for you to deal with, I would pretty much avoid her, or at least situations where you had to rely on her veracity.
Find new friends, it’s built in to their subconscious so you are never going to change it, and I can guarantee they will be able to lie better than you can unwind it.
So you will always question the validity of their answers, which means you don't trust their answers, and where there is no trust the is no friendship.
And if you try and unwind the lies it is very difficult to have a technical answer of yes it is a lie or no it isn't, which means you have to contextually say on probability it is or is not true, leaving you in a progressive double bind and that is hard work.
I have noticed that most friends I have had who were professional liars simply do it because they can. They have gotten away with it for long periods of time without anyone ever calling them out on their shit so they feel so comfortable doing it hat it becomes second natural. What I like to do, as an observative person, is call out inconsistency heir stories and break them own. They eventually catch on that you can not be bullshitted and give you some respect. They will lie to you less BUT they will not try to hang around you as it is their second nature to lie and you take away their fun. These people are best avoided, they are usually very toxic and will find other ways to fuck you.
Unfortunately, you're going to have distance yourself from that persona and eventually cut all ties with that person. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, so if you can't trust them, you'll never truly be able to believe a word they say and who wants a friendship where they're constantly skeptical of and doubting the other person? Also, lying can be a sign of manipulation. Those who are manipulative just want to know that they have full control over a person and will do whatever they feel necessary to ensure they have the upper hand, included but not limited to lying.
I’ve learned to be very careful of who I call friends. I prefer someone of that character as an associate or someone I know. I trust friends to be honest with me. True friends are hard to come by and I really don't believe in the term.
A little embellishing is normal I find in some people. We are human. I can deal with that, but the ones who lie about something serious like cancer are absolutely not or will ever be on friend status.
choose wisely who you call friends.
You stop dealing with them.You start maintaining distance from them and try to be safe.
Or if you really wanna help them, then do talk to them and counsel them about this bad habit of theirs. I guess such people need help, support and attention. After all they to are humans.
And a human being needs some love, time and attention to become a complete human being; apart from her basic needs. But in this case, she sounds like a psychopath. lol
If it's a consistent behaviour, then it isn't a one-time mistake, it's just the way they are: untrustworthy. If you're emotionally invested in that friend, I suggest that you withdraw those sentiments. If you're otherwise invested, such as sharing mutual interests or goals, then I see no harm in continuing being friendly with that person. Just take their words with a grain of salt from now on and you'll be fine.
You inform your friend that you know that he/she lies. And that you don’t trust promises or words that are told.
If he/she acknowledges that and asks for forgiveness then wait for a month at least. If friend continues to lie then tell that again and warn that things are going only downhill. Tell him/her that if that continues for too long there will be no friendship. On second thought being that you are being harassed I would get a restraining order.
Easy Fix!!! Do not be friends with people you know are habitual liars.
Simple stay away from her she sounds like a loose cannon. I would be cautious because I find that people like this can be very hateful and they try to get in on one's success. I think I know the person you talking about and She has lied on me for many many years and she is toxic!!! Be careful
Sounds like a terrible person I will wish you much peace and love and pray away all bad juju. People like this can bring you such bad luck
She sounds for sure like a psycho bitch! I wish the best for you and I am loving the shows! I have sent in a question for next show
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