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Charles was a guy who seemed to struggle with his relationships; no matter how many women he would meet; he struggled to have loving, long lasting, faithful, and serious relationships. The problem was not so much the women he met, but more so that he felt a need to sleep around on his partners. Growing up, Charles was never in a stable home. He found his father sleeping around with many different women, and Charles often saw his mother crying every night once she would find the phone numbers, condoms, and smell of women perfume on his father’s cloths.
Often Charles would get so raged at the dinner table not talking to his mom or dad. He would lash out and throw things across the room. As Charles got older, he began dating more and finding himself in the same shoes his father filled. He would call multiple girls and tell them that they were the only one. Charles would often have flashbacks of sitting in the backseat of his father’s car, as his father told this very line to a woman he was seeing secretly. Soon Charles would disrespect the women he met when he did not get his way. Charles felt this was the way to treat women after seeing his father beat his mother for rejecting him for sex.
Charles needs attention; this is the case because he never got it from his mother or father. Charles has a lot to prove being that he was often told by his mother, if he is a man he can never fall short of commitment. In addition, crying would be beneath a man and a man should never be too sensitive. Charles was told as a child he was not smart enough to go to school, but it was okay for him to work technical skills on a job. He was told no man should ever sit at a desk and do women’s work.
Charles battled with drugs and often suffered from alcoholism. He remembered seeing his father smoking weed and drinking beer by the cases. One day Charles had a conversation with his 69 year old father. His father asked “son what you are doing with your life”? He said “dad I am doing everything that you did; I followed the rules my mom instructed and since I have been doing this, I find that life is not worth living. For some reason, it’s hard to change and I never was able to express myself. I fail at communicating, having relationships, and being normal in a regular world.
I blame me for trusting you father, I blame me for trusting you mother, I blame myself for being what you both were. A mother who is weak and took shit for years from a man who never showed love. Father you were a man who did not know sensitivity, or how to be there and support his children and wife. You beat women, smoked, and drunk alcohol until you could not stand. So why do you ask me now why I am the way I am? I am what you and my mother created".
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