It's very sad to hear this. But I want to tell you something Listen very carefully. GiRl, You are beautiful the way you are.. And you are stronger than you think you are!
The first thing that you should do when he cheats on you is give him the freedom to live his own life. The second thing that you can do is.. CRY. yes Im serious.. Cry as much as u want.. remove everything.. that every burden that you have in your heart. They say weak hearted people cry. But do u know what the people who have guts, courage they are the ones to cry. Atleast they are not holding that pain and saying that they are strong. After you are done with that.. Take some time And understand.. What was all this? Love? No it wasnt. For your boyfriend it was just a game That he played. And maybe what you call love was just your attachment or just a body need.. I know you'll not accept it. But at some point in future.. You'll know the truth. Don't feel sad. It's Ohk. Life has got to teach you many things. I know you are feeling to end your life or maybe be heartless.. And do the same to others or so on.. But don't do all that. Just be silent. Let the pain go deep into your heart. Let it show you what pain is. Let it show you something that is unknown! Be witness to everything that's happening. Forgive him dear. And be thankful that you knew his other side.
There's obviously something much better and beautiful than this. Maybe you'll find your true love. Who knows. To let the best come in your life, you need to lose the worst. Cheating on your partner is so common that we take it lightly and laugh on and sometimes feel cool about it.. try to hurt the partner or yourself.. In return. Drink, smoke, abuse destroy your life, say love is pain, hate it etc etc. But will never try to see the truth. Never accept the fact that it's his life yes he can cheat you or can be loyal..and the same is yours. That's his choice his freedom. This is a bitter truth. According to me, cheating on someone is the cheapest act that you can do. Anyways.what you can do for now is Put all your energy into something that will make you successful. More beautiful. Healthy. It's just the game of transform of energy. I know it's difficult but You have to do it. Nothing's more important than life. A happy life. It's your journey. Your alone!
One thing that can help you out from all these and take you to another level is MEDITATION. any type of meditation is fine. The more you do it the more clear you get. Trust me, I mean it. Just try doing it for 5 mins. And you will be far away from getting affected by these things. At that point you'll know the real meaning of love. And trust me possession, jealousy, attachment, emotions physical attraction domination.. etc. All this is not love. The first thing love asks for is freedom. And you will experience all this as u go deep into yourself. Your own being. Your own individuality. This is the best opportunity don't miss it. Say thank you to that cheater, don't curse him. It's Ohk. Yes it really is okay! and move on.. Into your own journey. And you will find all your answers!
I'm a guy that in my last relationship my now ex girlfriend cheated on my with three different guys. I know brutal right? Well I had a gut feeling but since I had been cheated on before and she always swore to me she would never do that to me and hurt me I sort of threw those feelings out the window. In the end I learned about all three one of them being my ex best friend of 17 years. Yeah that one stung a lot. Well to answer your question all I can say is even if he isn't you have to talk to him about how your feeling. If he truly wants to be with you he will do whatever he can (reasonably of course no psycho isolation stuff) to make sure you don't have to deal with those thoughts and feelings. If he is though you must prepare yourself for the the worst but don't expect it. Be prepared and chances are if he is he will lie to you and try to turn the tables on you saying your accusing him so you must be the one cheating not him. Be ready for him to lash out that's something that actually means he is hiding something so stay calm and keep asking. If you have the type of guy who will streight up admit it I'm telling you now it will hurt when you hear him say yes but don't falter stay strong. That is probably the best part for him since he can't play you anymore he will want to see you suffering which to him makes it seem like he had control over you and in the end used and threw you away. Stay strong it is okey to cry but don't blow up and break down. If you act a little hurt but show you will be okey in the end he loses completely because he doesn't only not get to see you broken at the idea he chose someone else over you but on top of that you show him you can and will be fine and sooner or later will find someone better. This is when he really loses because he will have lost a faithful and loving girl and he can only blame himself. Like I say “don't take revenge because that simply gives them a reason to hate you. Simply drop it and forget them because they will then suffer multitudes more from losing a precious person and only being able to blame themselves.”
So he could be or he could not be either way talk to him trust me you will be happy sooner or later that you did. No matter what the outcome is as long as you know you did what you had to don't look back with regret look back and smile knowing it made you stronger.
I’m gonna take a different approach.
I’m 50 years old. I was married to a woman for almost 13 years, fathered 3 children, got divorced, and currently live with my male partner with whom I’ve shared residence for 8 years.
I’m also self-employed as a personal concierge so I’ve learned a thing or two about recognizing what is important to people, reading between the lines, and adjusting my approach accordingly.
I’ve cheated. I’ve been cheated on. And I’ve enjoyed numerous interpersonal & public relationships over the years.
None of this means a thing.
What does mean something is that I have chosen to look at and learn from these experiences. And this is my take-away message.
If you think your partner is cheating, the relationship is already over.
How can I be so certain?
Because perception is reality.
Whether your boyfriend is cheating or not is actually completely irrelevant.
What is relevant is what you perceive to be true. And what you perceive to be true is that your beau if cheating. And, so long as you choose to believe this, you will act accordingly & your relationship is doomed.
If, on the other hand, you can suspend judgment long enough to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, you create a space for him to move into. A space devoid of the past & based upon mutual trust.
Only when you release your preconceptions of what “is” can you open your mind to what “could be” and start laying the groundwork for effective communication.
From my heart to yours, I know what it feels like(as I have been cheated once from a girl too). Trust me. So let me tell you
If you have been hurt , I wish you healing ,... If you have been let down .. I wish to strength you to realise that backing up is in your hands only.
Don't give up. I know its hard. You might be lost now wondering why this would happen to you only.
If he had the power to hurt you down , do not give them the power to leave you down there
If you have been broken up , I hope you will soon learn how to love each of your pieces on its own
So that you may love yourself back together
But this may be the beginning of you finding yourself. Building yourself .. .making yourseIf .If you're cheated, I wish you patience and belief that their decision to cheat you is not your fault.
So if he tries to come back even, don't allow him to come and destroy your life again . life is all about how it is. If you don't learn from your mistakes, life gonna play with you .. So kindly move on and don't allow him to come in your life.
A big NO please don't let him cheat you, once done is gone forever. who knows if he will not repeat the same again.Trust is pillar of any relationship, what he thinks that he did not tell you because he was scared to lose you now. what after what all happened you will spare him?
Frankly saying please it's all about self respect and dignity so it would be very disgraceful if you forgive him. Its not about weeks or months, he was cheating on you from last 2 years, DUDE! long time. Ask him if same thing you would have done? He would have been forgiven you? Just ask him this simple question, he might say yes (may be) but in real when it happens nobody accepts and he won't accept.
So wake up girl its now your turn him that you are not dependent on him or he is the last guy on this earth nor you are the last girl.
Live your dreams
Love & God bless you
Ignore it and do nothing. He will do it again.
Don't expect a commitment and both of you date others.
Explain what lying means and your values don't permit it.
Show him the door.
Take him back but throw it in his face and embarrass him
on face book.
Should either of you expect absolute commitment like
marriage or had you made plans to marry? If yes,
keep him away for a few months, he doesn't deserve
Be calm and non confrontational. Tell him you understand.
When he breathes his first sign of relief and pops that grin,
explain how he has hurt you and you need time to think
and you would appreciate no contact.
You have some choices here. He needs to grow up and
understand there are consequences.
Stick to your choice. Depend on friends and don't sit around
isolating yourself. Give yourself some time every day to
cry or throw something but don't hold it in.
I'm sorry this happened. You will get through it
I know you are playing a gamble but follow a few rules of the game:
Be mature enough to handle the outcome whatever it be. In worst, if you are thinking that you want to revenge, you can always file for sexual abuse case against him because according to the law, if a man dupes a girl in a long run her claim can tantamount to sexual abuse. I don’t know according to which section of Indian constitution that you must research and do things further if you want.
What’s your objective? Fling/Long term?
If you are in for short term, don’t give in your emotions
But if you are looking for someone with whom, if it clicks, you should go for, then make sure you have commitment from the time you commit to him
Start keeping things in motion, do not keep delaying the further process i.e. if you are thinking about marrying because once a man is married, he is bound in responsibilities intrinsically and lawfully too. Then it is difficult for him to cheat.
As long as he is your boyfriend, you have to live with the risk of cheating, hence mentally ready for any such scenario.
Do not break or become depressed. Keep life pumping. What if one boyfriend cheats, that doesn’t sack you of your life. You are a beautiful being of complex make. Make sure you stay the same. At the end, no one is going to be with you but YOU and your God (But he mostly manifests through human mind and beliefs) so, you have to pull yourself together and become a fighter for life.
If you are dedicated to a reason. belief and if you commitment not just to your boyfriend but to your personal life, you are bound to become a better human being. These things will probably come and go, but babe you will rock irrespective of all such things. You will become strong.
And if you are beautiful, with a hot figure, don’t worry at all. You will find tons of guys who are ready to commit. And if you are not, exercise and gain a figure in some time, that way you don’t need to worry about you liking people because guys will run behind you.
Ensure that your boyfriend keeps meeting your family members one after the other that way if he cheats, each and every member of your family can find a reason to go to him and thrash and at least teach him a lesson in form of a verbal argument. He will feel insulted.
Keep things rolling in life in a mature and positive manner and ensure that your boyfriend understands you well. Make him clear against him that if he is going to cheat, you will file report against him. So, he will think twice before he cheats.
And I guess things should go good for you. Good Luck. Keep semblance and stay happy.
There is rarely cause in any relationship to allow another person to demean your self respect, and in this case your physical health through potential STIs.
Visit a sexual health clinic as a priority, they are confidential and will give you all the information you may need. It can be daunting, but it helps us to have peace of mind and future preparedness.
As far as trust goes if this relationship is meaningful, for example you have made a shared life with this person then there is opportunity to rebuild the trust, but it requires commitment from the other person to really give to the relationship and do all they can to show they are worth your trust. It also requires a real ability to forgive, and let go (not forget) of past transgressions. If you find yourself using the past as ammunition then the relationship is probably really too far damaged and it is important you have a clean break from the other person to maintain your emotional and mental health.
If the relationship is not salvageable then don't fret. You are important, and you are valuable. Don't think it is the end, see it as the beginning of a lesson, look back with fondness where you can, and look back with Frank honesty where you must. As we move through life we touch many people uniquely, not always positively, and you will move forwards and away a more balanced person with the confidence, and kindness to trust another person. Bitterness has plagued me more than once, and it is only once past those feelings that I feel strong and in control of my life again.
I hope whatever the outcome you treat yourself with dignity and love.
This is a tough one.
You have to ask yourself some difficult questions, and depending on the answers you have to make the call. I’d suggest not rushing the decision. Are you prepared to:
ask the painful questions about why he cheated, and be prepared for anything from a lie to a pitiful excuse to a genuine need that was going unmet?
get past this, knowing that it will always be there in the back of your mind, or is it something that will torment you forever?
use what happened as an opportunity to identify and resolve potential issues with your relationship?
accept the fact that certain kinds of people who step out once are more likely to do so again if they can get away with it?
If you’re young, and my sense is that you are, my advice is to dump him and don’t look back.
If you’re older and have a history together, maybe it is worth saving to you. If so, I suggest engaging the help of a marriage counselor experienced with infidelity.
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